It began to rain after a long era of warmth. I stood underneath exposing my bareness, drenching myself. There was a unique purple tinge on the clouds I had never seen before. I searched for my belongings, my clothes, but I couldn’t find them. I began walking ahead to embrace the roughness of the gruesome tides. Deep down in my heart I felt the pain of the ones who were pulled into the ocean by a supernatural notion called Nothingness.
It began raining heavily and I was determined to immerse myself into nothingness knowing I would see the sun beyond the dark clouds, but in a different world.
He pulled my arm gently with a smile on his face ‘I taught you to be strong yet you chose to become a coward’
I hadn’t seen him in years and there he was, holding my arm, pulling me out of desolation. He hadn’t aged. He was as young as me. His hands were strong and his shoulders were broad. Being strong was the only choice he had and the only lesson he preached.
I was too tired of being strong.
I looked at him with surprise and pushed him away. ‘You chose to leave when I needed you. Where do I find the strength?’
He was away for years; many years; decades. The world had forgotten him but I had not. He was still my hero; a hero who never failed. A hero who chose to imbibe pain and turn it into a passing thought. There wasn’t a day where I failed to see his reflection in me. I was a substance of his legacy. I was his best child. Yet I was so weak within. I always remembered the day when he got down at the abandoned train station leaving us alone. Such was the cause of his enactment that I chose to never look back. I couldn’t walk as my legs trembled every time. I couldn’t speak as words failed to spread out. I was different. So was he.
‘I was always there. You failed to notice’ he smiled
Yes, leaving behind a legacy does not assure a fortress of faith in turbulent mists when the world around you is just falling apart. I continued until I reached this place. I do not know how I came here. All I know is that I was destined to be here. Who could have built that strength? Who could have imbibed the pain better than you? I am your blood. But I am not as strong as you.
‘I have come here to hold you again. I am a strong man and so are you’
How far have you come? Why did you leave us there? You call me a coward. What are you?
‘You have come here to embrace nothingness while I had no choice. What is it? Just because you cannot carry the burden of this world you are here to submit your determination to the vastness of this ocean? This is not how you were raised. The sky is dark and it may remain dark for ages. It will rain, it will drown you sometimes. You will not see any light of the sun far away. The clouds with tremble and the winds will hurt your chest. So what? Will you compromise my legacy to something that has an end?
The dark clouds will fade. The wind will stop. You will see rays of the sun once again. You will stand by the shore and smile at the beauty of life. The only question is, will you hold on till then? The rays will ignite your bones, the winds will wash away your misery and my legacy will make you strong once again’
I woke up.
He wasn’t there. Or maybe, he was. Smiling at me through the chamfers of a dice called life that rolls endlessly to fetch tribulations and hopes. It may fall away at times. It may drown you to the deepest corners of your misery, but it will roll one day to show you the light. I am still a reflection of my father who taught me to never give up. He is still around me. It was neither a dream nor an illusion. It was a reflection of his values.
The biggest of them being ‘Strength’ and ‘Hope’.
My Father. My Hero.